Post #23

What does the game do?

The game causes us to tease each other with small trigger thoughts.
These are subtle, mean remarks or victim roles that we consciously rehearse.
Yet we don't notice them, we are unable to reflect on how these two forces control us.
For example, if the boss belittles our work, it can hurt us.
Such hurts are then transformed into improvements or deep-seated wounds.
These then slowly grow in our consciousness, and we often communicate them.
Through storytelling, we then develop a genuine victim role.
The wound thus becomes real. Often, to gain more attention, we further develop this role. Such an environment can easily turn one into a perpetrator.
What then happens to the person becomes clear through this little anecdote.
After the instructive weeks in Thailand, it was time to return home.
People who believe in Buddha are usually very balanced and pleasant.
This relaxed and cool demeanor allows you to get through the day calmly, without any rush or pressure. They are people who very rarely trigger those around them; they are reserved and respectful.
After a few weeks with Buddhists, this behavior is completely adopted.
Then it becomes very difficult to cope without this calm and respectful atmosphere.
You say goodbye to the honest and friendly host family as if they were your own.
Then you push your suitcase towards the airport.
There, the tourists you've managed to avoid for so many weeks are waiting.
You push your small trolley to the gate and lounge on a bench.
I glance around and see a couple in their mid-30s, seemingly very much in love, winding down their beach vacation. They both looked cute. He was a bodybuilder in a baseball cap, she a sweet blonde whose insecurities had already led her to a plastic surgeon at this age.
Without staring, they made a harmonious impression at first glance.
I didn't pay much attention to it and connected to the airport Wi-Fi.
Traveling alone, I wasn't paying much attention to my posture.
So I lounged comfortably in my seats and downloaded some new music for the long trip.
But I noticed how the two people opposite me seemed triggered by the apparent sign above my head:

- Look, I'm not a tourist. -
I noticed how they felt put down by my composure and apparent routine.

It became noticeable how they suddenly switched from their relaxed and comfortable posture to exaggerated playfulness. I'm not lying, they were cute, and I definitely would have been envious back in the day.
Now it's a pleasure to see something like that.
Nevertheless, there was no staring or anything like that that they would have noticed negatively about me.
I ignored it and waited for our flight to be called. The couple, casually dressed in joggers, were the first to head to the gate.
I checked how many minutes it was and waited some more.
He was really well-trained and gave the impression that he could work as a security guard.
I respected the hard work he put into his physique.
Then it was time to get in line.
I don't know why, but somehow I boarded the plane before the two of them.
I took my seat and prepared for takeoff.
Absorbed in the music, I watched the surroundings as they slowly found their way around.
I also had to find the right seat and briefly discussed it.
However, I quickly realized that I was the one in the wrong seat.
We amicably came to an agreement, and I calmly watched the traffic again.
Curiously, I immediately felt back in a Christian country.
Somehow, a striking number of passengers around me were wearing crosses.
Then the bodybuilder couple came up the aisle.
As I squeezed past them, I noticed the design on his cap.
It was the most beautiful and striking cross I had ever seen on a baseball cap.
Of course, the two of them took the seats right behind me, and he sat directly behind me.
His excitable and hectic manner already gave a lot away.
Because of the previous altercation with the neighbor, we both now acted very friendly.

All the guy in the baseball cap heard was my nice and emotional nature.
There was no reaction when he started searching for his movie on the touchscreen like a little kid. His girlfriend giggled and seemed amused.
I didn't react, but I was aware of where this might be headed.
I wondered how it was possible to bump into the first German person who was clearly trying to trigger me.
After weeks of learning the trigger pattern.
This pattern could only be deduced from a single European person.
Through this isolated behavior, surrounded by Thais, the approach was thus separated and defined. None of the Thai people

None of the Thai people I'd encountered in recent weeks had intentionally provoked those around them.
I didn't pay much attention, listened to music, and let them have their fun.
Finally, the food arrived.
After all the trays were collected, a sense of calm finally settled in.
The passenger diagonally in front of me reclined her seat.
I thought I'd probably do the same, but it was pretty obvious what would happen if the seat reclined. So, I only reclined it one notch very tentatively.
That was his cue.
He immediately asserted his claim to the seat and slammed his fist against the backrest.
Having been speaking sweetly and quietly to his neighbor, he now twisted his torso backward and asked in a rude and loud tone.
"Are there any problems?"
This broad man came close to me and asked:
"Why did you recline the seat?"
Looking wide-eyed, he spoke soothingly, as if to a child.
"Because it's designed for that." This clearly triggered him, and he replied in a harsh, angry voice:
"Why didn't you ask me?"
He replied with a questioning look.
"I'm supposed to ask you if I want to use my seat?"
He was completely bewildered; the respect he usually commanded was worthless here on the plane.
With wide eyes and a deep breath, he leaned back.
The plan was to continue serving him, and he asked loudly and brazenly:
"What do you want from me now? What do you want from me now?"
He unconsciously licked his front teeth as if they were teeth guards.
He leaned closer to me again and said:
"Now you're going to tilt the seat forward again and ask nicely."
My reaction shifted from street fighter swagger to sulky girl behavior, and I turned around with a disgruntled "Pfft" and listened to music.
He banged on the chair a couple more times, so his girlfriend had to get involved.
That was my limit; it was just the first step, which didn't take up any space.
But he was only interested in this game, which had already started at the gate.
After that uncomfortable night, however, I admitted my mistake.
The two of them seemed nice enough, so we decided to apologize.
I turned my head back and found only her awake; he was still slumbering under his mask.
I said how sorry I was for overreacting.
He was basically right; respectful interaction starts right here.
Even though it was just one step, it was encroaching on his territory.
Suddenly, the roles were reversed again; she reacted very kindly and understandingly.
The fact that admitting it wasn't a problem for her had an effect.
You could see her perspective on her boyfriend change.
Then he made one last big mistake.
When I woke up, this guy in the Jesus hat was going to hear it straight from me.
I looked him in the face and repeated the apologies and explanations.
Now there was only one way for him to be on par with me.
So he apologized too.
While he was saying this, however, he moved his girlfriend's head closer to his hip.
He was basically using her to trigger sexual envy in me.
She noticed this, and so the two of them at the baggage claim were no longer the harmonious couple they had been before. They both suddenly kept a noticeable distance from each other.
The way the whole conversation went, she probably realized a few things.
Just a few minutes earlier, when he was still trying to tease me, she had found it amusing.
Now she apparently understood how childish or mature situations can be handled.
Also, how she is being used to make himself look good.
Situations like these create a visible imbalance in the relationship.
The partner notices the other's deception.
Being proud of your partner is one thing, using them for your own ego games is quite another.
These subconscious, inconspicuous games shape our sense of self.
Many don't even realize how they slip into victim and perpetrator roles.
The lie of their self must first be overcome.